Friday, July 14, 2017

Waiting on a Bright Moon, by JY Yang

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(Space Opera) Xin’s orderly life on Eighth Colony changes forever when she ushers a mutilated body through the portal. (9,957 words; Time: 33m)

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆ Needs Improvement

"," by (edited by Ann VanderMeer), published on by .

Mini-Review (click to view--possible spoilers)

The writing quality is very poor. The narration is intrusive and the dialogue is unnatural. Most of this reads like the outline of a story, not an actual story. There’s also a repeated problem with mixed metaphors: “like a clawed hand, the woman’s scream shreds into this ecstasy.” “Ren is your center, the spoke through which the rest of you are threaded.”

The plot is pretty poor. In the climactic scene, Suqing saves the day via a special ability we never knew about before that moment.

Finally, there are some clumsy edits. For example, Xin tells Suqing that her real name is Tian. Then, a few scenes later, she does it again.

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3 comments (may contain spoilers):

  1. Wow, I had a totally different impression of this one. Really enjoyed it.

    There aren't two scenes of her telling Suqing her name. In the first scene, it's Ren.

  2. This is Romance with a space opera setting. That's how I read it.

    As a romance, it reads fairly well, and has the classic romance plotline. Something about the way it was written within the first few paragraphs just screamed "Romance" at me. I did think it was kind of over-written.

    It was also told in flashbacks, as well as in the present. Laura is correct, Xin is telling Ren her name in the past (when she was in training) and then again to Suquing in the present.

    For anyone wishing to know what the Chinese words are, copy and paste into Google Translate for Mandarin. It will give you a general idea. The title of the story comes from Xin and Suqing's personal song together.

    The only un-romance thing in it is the execution (this is graphic enough to warrant a reader warning), and the end (which does hint at more to come in another story).

    The artwork by Victo Ngai is beautiful and really does suit the story.

    1. Part of it is that I'm too easily grossed out by things like "there lies the thing on the dais: naked, skin flayed, flesh laid open in petals."

      I don't read romance, but I'm amazed you got that out of the first few paragraphs. All I got was "slaughterhouse." :-)